We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.
supported by
Ticci
Ticci thumbnail
/

about

Remix; originally appeared on The 918 UFN EP.
1) Writes song as entry in Duck brand Duct Tape songwriting contest.
2) Deliberately avoids using words "duct," "tape."
3) Does not win contest.

lyrics

JUST THE THING © 2004 Acoustic Ross

This old guitar has seen better days
I broke half the strings trying to play ‘Purple Haze’
It’s kinda hard to play acoustic guitar up behind your back
But these low ceilings made it easy to put a crack in the neck

So I swung it around like Cobain or Townshend on stage
Smashed it down on the floor like Loudon on a drunken rampage
Next morning I saw the debris, I felt regret and I snapped
But I thought, hey, I’ve got just the thing for that

It’s stringy, sticky, and it smells like athlete’s feet
The only thing in my toolbox, what else would I need?
Got a roll in every room and one around my wrist
It’s the only standing order on my shopping list
It keeps the world together and it doesn’t suck
Primer color like an elephant, but it’s made by ducks
Can’t get enough of the gray stuff

This old house has been through a lot
Eighty years old and now everything is going to pot
The leaks in the ceiling have now also ruined the floor
And the crickets and the spiders ran my dog right out the door

The outlets are shorted, my computer’s developed a glitch
I’ve got birds in the belfry and the yard really stinks from the ditch
The window’s still broken where the burglar he break the latch
But I’m pretty certain I’ve got just the thing for that

If makes me feel much better in uncertain times like this
It binds us all together, keeps us safe from terrorists

This old heart has seen better days
since we went our proverbial separate ways
I can still feel the spot where you tore those ventricles out
You were the light of my life even after we burned out

I almost never think of you at all anymore
Only when I’m at home or at work or when I’m outdoors
You left a hole in my life but I’m keeping it under my hat
Cause I’m reasonably certain I’ve got just the thing for that

It’s stringy, sticky, and it smells like athlete’s feet
The only thing in my toolbox, what else would I need?
Got a roll in every room and one around my wrist
It’s the only standing order on my shopping list
It keeps the world together and it doesn’t suck
Primer color like an elephant, but it’s made by ducks
Can’t get enough of the gray stuff

credits

from The Self​-​Improvement of Acoustic Ross, released December 16, 2014
- - - - - -
Acoustic Ross: all instruments and voices

license

tags

about

Acoustic Ross image

Acoustic Ross Tulsa, Oklahoma

Either Tulsa's funniest musician or its most musical comedian, Acoustic Ross has written & performed original AntiFolk/comedy music for 25+ years, released 7 albums, served as house musician/MC in carnival sideshow, & played nearly 400 shows in venues sizing from Cain's Ballroom to a school bus.

Check out acousticross.com/category/media for a handful of tracks not available here! ... more

contact / help

Contact Acoustic Ross

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

Acoustic Ross recommends:

If you like Acoustic Ross, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Fabiana Palladino stops by to talk about her mesmeric debut LP.
listen now